Chapter 30 — Where the Heart Turns (Part 1)

　　Fangyi Jun led Ruoshui to the mortal world’s celebrations: riddle guessing, lanterns, lovers offering wishes at ponds, and exquisite food at the finest inns. Ruoshui ran like a freed horse — she hadn’t felt such abandon in ages. Seeing so many living people revived something in her; even the air smelled different and brightened her mood.

　　She wanted to revisit the Sleepless City; Fangyi Jun obliged. Over a year had passed; Tangdi had restored order. Tangdi and Yulan were traveling incognito; the citizens, who thought the river protected them, offered festivals to the river spirit — only a few knew they should have been revering Ruoshui, who had drained herself of blood to save the city.

　　Meeting their benefactor, they were lavishly entertained; Tangdi welcomed them into the palace, treating them as honored guests. Ruoshui delighted in the feasts and the emperor’s musically inclined attendants who soothed sleepers — life felt splendid.

　　A year earlier, Ruoshui had come to see the city but had witnessed its worst. Now the revived city was irresistible. She floated lanterns with the others on the moat not to pray but for amusement, watching them drift farther away until they disappeared. Thoughts of Su Mu — or rather of the face that kept appearing in her dreams — came into her mind. Twice the dreams had used Su Mu’s image; she wondered if it was coincidence, delusion, or something linking them. She let it go.

　　After six or seven days it was Ghost Festival time. On the fifteenth day of the seventh lunar month, the gates of the underworld open and ghosts come to visit. The living burn offerings of paper money to help their departed kin. The night brims with yin energy.

　　That evening she returned to Gushu Peak. Fangyi Jun lingered and left with repeated backward glances. After a few days away, Ruoshui returned in a splendid mood, only to find Su Mu in her room. She circled, checked it was really her room, and then stepped in.

　　“Where were you off to? Smitten by the city?” Su Mu’s face was expressionless but a little anger showed.

　　“I went to the Sleepless City. I saw familiar faces and tarried for a few days,” she replied.

　　Qiwu Jun asked, “Did you sleep well?”

　　“Qin Yin’s music soothed me, so mostly,” she answered practice-perfectly.

　　Qiwu Jun: “Do you dislike staying here?”

　　Ruoshui: “Not dislike — just not used to it. It’s too quiet.”

　　Qiwu Jun: “If you don’t need me, why stay to make yourself miserable?”

　　“Eh?” She didn’t really know why she stayed — having him nearby felt like having a support.

　　Qiwu Jun’s mood soured. When she left that night and didn’t return for days he grew anxious. He wanted to look for her but could not. When he finally heard a noise signaling her return he was glad, until he heard Fangyi Jun’s voice and his joy curdled.

　　He realized he had feelings — love had taken root. But the divide between immortal and mortal and his doom-sealed fate made him restrain himself. The more he stifled thoughts, the more they spread. Seeing her laugh with Fangyi Jun didn’t sit well; secrets shared between them enraged him. When she didn’t return for days he fretted.

　　At midnight a crash came from Qiwu Jun’s room. Ruoshui padded over in just an undershirt, anxious. “Su Mu? Su Mu?” she knocked on the door. Silence. She pushed it open.

　　Inside the room lay overturned furniture and shards of porcelain. Qiwu Jun stood with his back to her, a murderous aura around him.

　　“Get out!” he said, voice shaking.

　　“What’s the matter?” she asked, careful.

　　“Get out!” he repeated, more urgent. His behavior was off. She crept quietly around the broken pieces and whispered, “What is wrong?”

　　“I told you to go!” His voice was violent as he turned and glared.

　　Startled, she collapsed onto the floor. His eyes were bloodshot and filled with anger, as if he might kill her. He crouched, coming closer. She instinctively wanted to evade but forced herself to look. Was this a case of qi frenzy?

　　“Su Mu — I’m Ruoshui,” she said, trying to speak calmly despite fear.

　　“Ruoshui?” he murmured, as if testing the name.

　　“Yes — I’m the Ruoshui you rescued from the Weishui, I’m your wif—” she started, then stopped. Best not to push the legalities.

　　Qiwu Jun’s face darkened. “So you say you went with the Sixth Junior to stray?” His tone resembled a scornful husband asking about infidelity.

　　“No!” Ruoshui shook her head like a rattle. “I was drunk — I spoke without thinking.”

　　“Drunk words are true words,” he said.

　　“No —” she protested.

　　“You enjoy being with him, watching the moon and sharing secrets. If you dislike this place then leave. Why remain?” Qiwu Jun’s anger rose and he clamped her throat.

　　Ruoshui couldn’t breathe; terror suffused her. He who had once acted as if he wanted nothing now appeared wounded in love. She felt she might die. Tears came. She had survived at Lingxiao Peak earlier, so another brush with death left her shaken.

　　Tears dripped onto her wrist and snapped Qiwu Jun back to a sliver of reason. Seeing her nearly die in his grip, he panicked and released her. She gulped air.

　　“Go — leave now!” Qiwu Jun ordered with remaining control. He feared he might truly lose himself if she remained.

　　As she crept to the door, she steeled herself, bit her lip, turned back and embraced Qiwu Jun, kissing him.

　　In that suspended second the world stilled; the faint blood on her lip lent a strange lure. Qiwu Jun felt the fierce anger recede; the blood on her mouth tasted faintly metallic and it loosened the brutal edge in him. His red eyes returned to star-bright clarity. Looking at her, closed-eyed and seemingly resigned, his millennia of loneliness evaporated. She said she felt safe with him — and he found peace with her there.